This is the fantasy that Ashley Madison sold. The reality:

An astrobiologist, a physicist, a pilot, an architect, a journalist and a soil scientist walk into a dome...

The #yumbox kid in twenty years: #obeselivingathome

Jose Sixpack: hawt Latino rockin’ sexy abs.

Looks like Aaron Schock’s office bathroom before he resigned.

Ashley Madison?

Here’s Joe Banner, an NFL executive. He’s kinda weird-looking and probably has sex.

I think that’s Giovanni de’ Medici on Brown’s head.

Grey Wolves? Sounds like the military wing of AARP.

His 2014 Tour win looks more and more dubious.

Additionally, investigators request that anyone with any related information call 210-225-TIPS (8477).

They live in Florida where two weeks feels like 80 years.

“It’s supposed to be 1955.”

You’re doing wonders for my self-esteem!

Heard anything about who Grape-Nuts is endorsing?

He’s so douchy-looking his name should be Axe L. Braun. And no.

Who’s playing Robin?

I guess it’s better than Stupider, Jr.

Dunno. I’m not a lawyer; I play one on TV.

Should I tell my wife I have a paid subscription to Dolly Madison?