Honestly? I had to google Castro to reintroduce himself to me. I always forget her name but I can always get from “you know! The wuu wuu crystal bitch offshoot” and I remember it’s Tulsi.

Apparently she leaked he doesn’t like to be photographed with Tiffany bc she’s fat?

Kate Hudson’s leggings are apparently like proactiv where you have to cancel your card to cancel the subscription. You know that’s the next level of this Tawney scam

I hate that I have to do this. You seem really nice.

Before you could deposit them with your phone? Bc you have to go to the bank and going to the bank sucks. Now? Same level of laziness. 

I’m not a parent but I am friends with a good deal of them. Some of it sounds like run of the mill mommy blues. Some of it makes me think you should be really open and honest when asked about how you are feeling re: warning signs for postpartum depression. It’s super common and nothing to be ashamed over. You’re…

There’s no where near us that recycled glass anymore. But glass still gets put in a separate trash bin. It’s madness. It still goes in the trash but it’s put in a separate trash bin. 

It’s symbolic, you dolt. She’s making the dogs into babies. That’s why they wear diapers. 

I recently petsit for a friend that had $900 for 2 months of fertility boosting vitamins on her counter. The girl dog, a Pomeranian, wore a diaper. The boy dog, wore a belly band bc she can’t stand to take fertility away from her pets bc of her fertility. I had to wash poop out of the Pomeranian’s hair at least twice…

I had so many questions about that too his mom lives less than 5 minutes away from his house so I assume his mom was dropping by and sorting stuff. I hate their side of town and would never live there so he’s always lived on my turf and his mom hasn’t tried to touch my garbage. Her and his dad have a butlers pantry…

I know you’re being sarcastic but if you have a dog and want a quick excuse to get out of a social situation opening an app on your phone and looking shocked then going over to the host and saying “I’m so sorry, I have to go. My dog has diarrhea.” is the best way to leave. No one ever questions how you know your dog…

If you leave garbage on the counter, you deserve to be ghosted.

I live with and have been with my boyfriend for three years now. So some dealbreakers can be fixed but y’all... it was a doozie.

Idgaf at this point. I wanna vote for Hillary again. None of this makes sense again and I’m still all in with that bitch. 

If you think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve encountered while selling my house, you have the childlike nativity I had a month ago.

I recently sold my house and gave away a lot of stuff to friends and neighbors.

Generally my role in the birth plan is that I’m on call to cheeseburger and fries for momma and if I bring food for everyone else it’s a plus. I show up the next morning (or hours later) with an assortment of bagels and pasteries from my favorite local place plus a dozen cookies and brownies for the nurses.

I had to use a cvs recently bc the independent pharmacy I use was out of my medicine. It was super weird that when I said “honestly, whenever is fine” I still got a text less than an hour later that my rx was ready.

I’ve met him a few times and he does have undernotes of tide. 

Go back. Your dogs deserve better than an itchy scratchy duvet