With a bottle of seltzer water?

I hated the kids in The Visit. HATED.

I turned it off the second time the boy rapped. I feel slightly guilty for hating those kids so much.

Yup. I can't hear it without thinking of Nicole Kidman dancing in the headlights.

Just stand theeeeeere.

I said almost these exact words just 2 days ago!

9 to 5 or 6 to 4.

Ketchup, mustard and cheese. Because I'm a monster.

Apparently the AV Club is the only site available at Obama's Reeducation Camps.

I wish I could explain it but he looks like he should always have a cold sore.

LOL, looks.

*hoists Puddinghead onto her shoulders for a victory lap*

He has one of those faces that looks like he should always have a cold sore. I don't know how to explain it any better.

He knows exactly what he's doing by using those words. I'm surprised he didn't show up here just to say "triggered lol!"

Some motherfuckers always trying to dribble uphill.

Yoo Gong from Train to Busan can get it any day.

It's rich coming from this motherfucker. All he does is bitch and moan about how shitty his life is.

Only if Angela gets to take him out (and not to dinner).

I just wanted to party with Rayanne and Ricky.

I never liked him and always felt like she could do better. Every girl and gay boy I knew thought I was crazy. I feel vindicated after this whole Joker debacle.