I predict that hackers will start posting poop pics from the phones of male celebrities.

And it was the comedy hit of the decade! (I kid about your schlong. I'm sure it's lovely.)

….I'll be right back.

I'm not surprised about Nick Offerman and Chris Pratt, but Adam Scott doing it breaks my heart. It's like when I saw a GIF of Leonardo Dicaprio break dancing in Wolf of Wall Street and my childhood crush went pfffft. Only this time it's my adult ladyboner that went pfffft.

THESE ARE MY LAST CLEAN SHORTS

Try drinking nothing but red wine for awhile. That is a terrifying first poop.

Now I'm imagining scrolling through my camera roll, trying to show a coworker a photo and having to scroll past pic after pic of poop. "Don't worry, these aren't even mine."

Man do I miss those days! My favorite was some guy doing a terrible a cappella version of Like A Virgin. That wasn't even the song I was looking for!

Unless it's about Candle Cove.

You're right. And this is something everyone other than straight white guys has known and been able to do.

I love this.

"Someone's at the door."

"Wall to wall bookcases in every room. YES, even the bathrooms. Let's just take that 5th guest room and turn it into a bouncy house, yes? And I want to be able to swing into any room like Tarzan." That would literally be my blueprint for a house.

I'm about to finish Fire in the Grove about the 1944 fire at the Cocoanut Grove nightclub. Next up is either Danse Macabre by Stephen King or Beloved by Toni Morrison. After that it's either a book about the sinking of the Eastland or the firestorm at Peshtigo. I like fires.

If you're interested in reading more about Jonestown I recommend A Thousand Lives by Julia Scheeres. It gets more into the victims and their daily lives at Jonestown. As teens Sheeres and her brother were sent to a very similar place. She's got a great book about that as well.

I've had the exact same problems with reading this year. Too much work and too much stress, then throw in a book that I just couldn't get into. I set my Goodreads goal at 25 and I've only read 12. It's been a weird year.

I hope these fucking Breitbart fuckers die of fucking sepsis.

That's the party of personal responsibility for you.

It's not your job, you're just a piece of shit.

You're someone who willfully misinterprets people so you can feel superior. It's pathetic. You'll be blocked before you can respond, so don't bother. I'm sick of reading your idiotic word vomit.