Aye-aye! I choose you!

Too bad. It's from Madagascar, and nobody goes to Madagascar

Actually people should stop being stupid.

As you'll be aware, and in point of fact, it is well known that "actually" is very good word to alert people to information they technically ought already to have known.

And Now Vader.

I've seen tongue-in-cheek protests here before that people just do for fun. I saw people protesting the new Karate Kid outside a theater. One sign said "Kung Fu is NOT Karate"

The thing is, adding "literally" in most contexts does not add much to the sentence. Yes, you already said you feel as if your head is about to explode. I don't need to you to re-emphasize what you just said. In fact, I'd rather you not, because "literally" in particular is specifically used to tell people that what…

Me, myself, personally

He's like a real life Tony Stark without the women and weapons. He's what so many of us wanted to be when we grew up - making stuff the better the world and having a blast doing it.

Irregardless. It's a double negative. The word you're looking for is regardless.

"I could care less." Therefore you care. It's "I COULD NOT care less". Because if you could care less, that means you do care. If you cannot care less, you care so little that you could not care any less.

"Comprised of" It's improper…

"Literally" isn't a word that you should eliminate from your writing.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo!

Eyebrow Morgulis.

This is going to wreck havoc once somebody finally claims ownership of the "Four Chords of Pop".

How to be funnier? Well, if people aren't laughing at your joke, it's probably because they don't get it. So: explain your joke in detail. Nothing is funnier than detailed analysis of humor, trust me!

What could possibly go wrong?

Mostly with those who are watching the shows.