I actually get more of a Brett Kavanaugh vibe from him.

I’m just going to give you a star for this comment to hopefully dig you out of the grays and let others see how tightly you clutch your pearls. 

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Jules: Describe what Grayson Allen looks like!
Brett: What?
Jules: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Brett: He’s not bald.
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: Yes.
Jules: That’s not how this is supposed to go, Brad!

Somehow, looking like a young Ted Cruz only manages to be, like, the 12th most infuriating thing about him. What an absolute fucking walnut.

I’ve never seen anything blown up so fast in Oklahoma City.
-Mayor David Holt

#TornAThunder

I hope he hasn’t lost confidence in the transaction market.

We would also accept “deaths caused by fraternity hazing” as another Top-5 reason to ax college.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, unfortunately: BULLDOZE THAT FUCKING SCHOOL LIKE ABU GHRAIB PRISON.

The 1960 Home Run Derby series is on YouTube. I’m watching Hank Aaron take on Ken Boyer as we speak!

Me: violate me with that scorpion tail, daddy

[writes “37. Lennay Kekua”]

What color was her skin? Asking for a racist.

Columbus rebranded to “Columbus Crew Soccer Club” a few years back, and go by “Crew SC” now, so there’s two!

Orlando City is my favorite because they use “soccer club” instead of football club in their name. Viva Soccer! Viva America!

This guy probably doesn’t deserve too much pity (being a huge asshole doesn’t mean he deserves to die though).

Richard graduated from Southern Mississippi with a major in exercise science

Dear Penthouse,