I’m not sure I get it. If everyone can do this, then why not choose a young age – no one will assume you’re young, because they’ll know that you had the power to freeze your age. And if you’re the only that can do it, then it’s impossible to choose a young age, because after a few years people will think you’re some…

In addition to the heel walk, they'll hold your foot up and have you press down, and vice versa.

The screaming baby and nagging significant other are precisely why I can't go. If you can, and you don't, it's a slap to my face. Don't do it for yourself. Fuck you. Do it for me.

Michigan opened play with a [...] blowout.

I can never figure out what the ultimate point of these missives is. Can we make this explicit for once? Are we actually advocating for college students/athletes/student-athletes to get paid a salary while in school and be permitted to make their own side deals? Does no one see how that could turn into a worse…

So Rice keeps it quiet for years, but as soon as someone asked, he confirmed it? Remind me to never have an affair with Glen Rice.

While we're here, how the hell can anyone tell whether Jaworski or Gruden is speaking? They have the same voice, dialect and accent and they say the same things. I literally cannot tell them apart unless their faces are on camera.

The rules for punt returns never changed, so that's got nothing to do with it. No one ever said we'd never see a kick-off returned for a touchdown again. The concern was that we'd see a lot more touchbacks — which is exactly what happened.

Speaking of textbooks on a Kindle: [www.professorbainbridge.com]

Different people arrive at their blistering forehands differently.

Crap. His fight against Cam Janssen was one of the best Leafs moments of the last ten years, easily. This off-season has to end already.

And I am AWWWWWWESOMMMMMMME!!!!!!!

So basically, you ruined this for Drew. Right?

I defy anyone to listen to that show on XM and come away thinking, "I should write something about this!"

They're not planking, they're throwing up all over the floor.

The fans really blew up after that.

Ed: "So, did you get any sleep last night?"

‘I have the package. We have the package. Blah. Blah. Blah.'

Third guy from the right is all, "Screw it, I'm going for Justin Bieber here."

Here's your Simpsons joke, which I'll be posting every time until this dumbass feature gets hit by a bus: