Next up for Will: the 2012 US gymnastics squad.

All those people, no one thinks to turn on a lamp?

And with that, Deadspin's coverage of the comings and goings of Jay Mariotti comes to an end.

That's the best kind of devotion: Devotion that has zero guarantee of ever paying off.

If Matt Leinart wants to stab Bradshaw right now, just put me on that jury. I will not convict.

And my favorite athlete is Larry Fitzgerald. The joy of competition, the joy of victory, none of the sideshow nonsense.

Right now, my favorite human being in the world is Adrian Wilson.

That guy looks like he has football in his veins.

If I'm McNabb (or an Eagles fan), I almost have a harder time with this one than the Super Bowl loss. There were a couple of passes that he would just love to have a second crack at for touchdowns.

Damn. I couldn' care less about the Eagles, but this game would have gone into the time capsul if that catch is made.

@Here comes the story of Hurricane Hudler: I was just thinking that. But nope, even he knows better.

This game has been a microcosm of McNabb's entire season/career.

Wow. They can't really punt now, can they?

Hey, that's Boom Boom Geoffrion! And Syl Apps! And Andy Bathgate!

That report is remarkably detailed. Why do I need to know the guy's address, or at what intersection he was arrested?

Joe Carter homers, Blue Jays win, surely baseball fans will finally consign Fisk's useless HR to history bin.

Daulerio will shit his pants.

/pours out a cup of Maxwell House

I'm going to go ahead and ask you to let Rick Reilly give us the Rick Reilly updates.

By the way, am I the only one who finds absolutely nothing erotic about any of that? Is this really what goes on at strip clubs, asked the married guy with two kids?