No, but they're fantastic too and totally Deadspin(re: inappropriately funny). Read Flashman(George MacDonald Fraser) and I swear you'll start talking about rogering women. It can't be helped.

My wife and I tasted some fantastic Burgundies at this wine tasting and then I got my man card back by drinking some IPA's and having a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top.

Go old school and read John D. MacDonald. Hard boiled dialogue and great narrative drive. It's what Don Draper would have read.

Kind of gives a different definition to wet works.

The new Syracuse cheer? " Laurie Fine! Clap! Clap! Clap!"

Yeah

Dr. Oz. I can't seem to escape his graphic models of lower intestines when I'm at my health club.

A.J. always got the Get before anyone else. He'll be great at Gawker. And he starred me, so I'll always have that awkward conversation with my print journalist relatives to remember him by. With his help, I'm down to maybe three or four topics that I can talk to my in-laws about. Somewhat surprisingly, one of them is…

I know we're all looking forward to Thanksgiving, but man it seems like all of you guys are totally baked tonight.

"I know, I know. But that already happened. Your congeniality has been noted, although it was expected."

We indeed do. Can you feel that little bit of panic rising in OK St?

Aha! But it's tomorrow there.

I know which way the OK St - Iowa St is going to go, but it's kind of a fun game to watch.

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Hilarious. Comic Genius.

You young whippersnappers don't realize what a great boxer Michael Spinks was. He was no tomato can and this fight/mauling, more than any other, is responsible for Tyson's legend.

Excellent.

Don't ever do that again. I know people...

Singapore! Treat it like an 18(?) month holiday(don't forget to work hard). I'm going to presume you're single. You probably make decent money, you'll never have this amount of freedom again. Trust me.