Gary Oakland Athletics is precisely why we need to be able reply without promoting a comment. Or getting a subpoena.

@Armen Tamzarian: +1 Duff.

@StuckBetweenStations: Any interest in sharing the site name? No prob either way.

@Landycakeboss: Great stuff - put a wedge of orange in it.

@WhynotstartYunieveryday: Like she said - sounds aboot(I'm pretending I'm Canadian tonight)right for a lab sized beast.

@The nutshot heard round the world: Please don't think of aiming 50 or 100 laser pointers at them.

@RichardDrungle: I was only planning on being a fat, weak, useless cock for the next 6 or 9 months.

Any of you guys CrossFit? I'm coming off an elbow injury and am absolutely bored stiff with the elliptical/bike stuff. Opinions? Thanks.

@vodkanaut: A wise man. I'm jumping on the grenade Saturday with a dinner party that settles a lot of debts,and more importantly gets us off the hook for at least 6 months.

@JohnnyDrinky: You basically fucked. Best show ever.

@Bobby Ostrich: Punch him.

@I Like Cheap Beer: You're right. You are. But... all those those other parents are sick of those parties every weekend and are trying to fast-track through 6 or 8 parties in one afternoon.

You'd be a world-weary "writer, journalist" too if you had to intern at The Big Lead.

@starksgotejected: Excellent.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Especially with a nice pair of dark socks.

I'm starting to understand why A.J. was going to charge me $4000 for those pictures of Wade Phillips' naked ass.

Hey emailer of the week. You need to get Mike Birbiglia's book. He jumped through a plate glass window on the second floor of a motel while dreaming.

@Walk Off HBP: Exactly.

@comment_ninja: I wish there was either a STFU button that didn't promote a comment or the ability to comment derisively without promoting that comment. That would get rid of half of your problem.

@Frankensteinbrenner: You know where you want to live. Go there. It won't be easy but it will be worth it. Trust me, you'll never have this much freedom again in your life.