@Bobby Ostrich: Punch him.

@I Like Cheap Beer: You're right. You are. But... all those those other parents are sick of those parties every weekend and are trying to fast-track through 6 or 8 parties in one afternoon.

You'd be a world-weary "writer, journalist" too if you had to intern at The Big Lead.

@starksgotejected: Excellent.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Especially with a nice pair of dark socks.

I'm starting to understand why A.J. was going to charge me $4000 for those pictures of Wade Phillips' naked ass.

Hey emailer of the week. You need to get Mike Birbiglia's book. He jumped through a plate glass window on the second floor of a motel while dreaming.

@Walk Off HBP: Exactly.

@comment_ninja: I wish there was either a STFU button that didn't promote a comment or the ability to comment derisively without promoting that comment. That would get rid of half of your problem.

@Frankensteinbrenner: You know where you want to live. Go there. It won't be easy but it will be worth it. Trust me, you'll never have this much freedom again in your life.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: Dad?

@The_Beermonger: I had lunch at Blue Mountain yesterday - I live in C'ville.

@The_Beermonger: You're an inch away from becoming a wine guy - which isn't a bad thing, if you approach it the right way.

@Da Mang: I had to wait until I was in for the night to open my Bell's Expedition Stout. 10 point something ABV.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: I would suggest that Carson was more of the sidekick. But that's just me, who's never gotten to sit on Harry Carson's lap like you. Bastard.

@gulag: Absolutely let the maintenance people handle it. They're getting in because of holes they've chewed in the soffets of your roof. That's not your problem.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: A toss-up between Tom Hagen and Cardinal Richelieu.

@vodkanaut: "While Jim wrestles with a heifer out on the frozen tundra, I'll head back to town to reconfirm my reservation at the steakhouse.

@Boothwilkes John: Read the NY Post comments and the yahoo guys seem like MacArthur grant recipients.

@AntoineWalker: My dad met her when he accidentally ran into her out in the country.