What are these young women doing to our nation's dance floors? Are they dancing in cleats? I need to know! And where the hell was Yvonne when we needed her most!

I claim him in the next available death pool.

I always thought that Mickey Rourke would be simultaneously the best and worst person to play Dylan Thomas in a biopic.

@donoley: +1

@Trot Nixons Hat: On the Pizza Hut website.

He collapsed in agony when he was brushed by a bottle of ex-lax

@Samer Ocho Cinco: Good point. A two bit joke that becomes permanent body ink must be how they roll in the 209.

I think the reason that picture is freaking me out is that I wore the same pants to work today. And maybe the broken ankle and imminent groin stomp. And the new skylight.

@Chuck_Schick: [www.southdacola.com]

Boy, bullfighting is even riskier than trying out for the 9th grade cheerleading squad(and the horn in the mouth jokes start in 3...2...1..GO!).

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I hope you don't own a horse.

@Phintastic: +1. No one deserves to have every celebrity in a formerly major metropolitan area stalking them. That's why I left Gary, Indiana.

This works for me. I need/want to replace an older F-150 that I use to haul a lot of big, not too heavy stuff. This doubles my mileage instantly, with better performance.

@formerly Chief Wahoo: Excellent

Thanks for the reminder. It's my mother-in-law's birthday.

Tonight's winners: The creatives at Nike's ad agency.

"Cart him off and the Penguins are the New York Rangers all of a sudden."

He still sounds better than Diane Rehm.

@Fuzzy Dunlop: The star suits you, since you're about eleven times funnier than me. Dick. In the best way.

@TopesWin: My thoughts exactly.