@JC Whitless: Self- lubricating, just like Paris Hilton. Hi-yo!!!

@AmishJohn: Good point. And take a look at the British generals in WWI. They, in fact, were upper class twits who usually bought their commissions.

@JC Whitless: The French, as occasionally insufferable as they can be, have a history of being pretty good at the soldiering thing. The problem with WWII, was the sons of all of those men who died in WWI never got born - the "Lost Generation". You could look it up.

@DAULERIO: Come on man, I already said that.

@FavreFAIL: You'll like this. My sister bought a house on Long Island from three elderly siblings. In the basement laundry room one of the sisters left a giant collage of 80's and 90's Tom Selleck pictures. It's like found art.

@BruschisBrewsky: I saw him earlier today. He seemed to be caught inside an invisible box, and later seemed to be making absolutely no headway walking into a strong headwind.

@DAULERIO:

@UweBollocks: Nice post, and sorry about the NW Ohio thing. I'll light a candle for you.

I'm so thrown off by the comment embargo earlier. LeBron is the guy with the gray penis, and Johnson likes to projectile vomit on little girls, right?

Thank God he's got a spotter with him.

Just like TASS, except they got rid of the commenters also.

@Prick Top: Yeah, he makes John Feinstein look like Stringer Bell.

At first I thought I was too white to comment on this, but then I realized I can't hit a curveball either.

@ArkansasFred: It really sets off his eye.

I feel sorry for all of those lonely brunettes. Maybe they can get a job at Taco Bell.

@titansfan78: And those co-eds are kind of getting on the old side.

@Lionel Osbourne: You made me laugh, you bastard.

@Pornstars-for-Wilbon: Only 268,000 more page views to match it. 268,000! That's sex tape numbers!I'd say that video extended out beyond the Deadspin community.

True story: Back in the late 80's, my sisters and some friends were at Jim McMullen's on the Upper East Side, when Hernandez strolls in in a Member's Only jacket. His first words to their table?: "Which one of you lucky ladies wants to fuck me?"

Hey Dale, just how far up the journalistic ladder are local TV sports reporters these days? And when was the last time you broke(rather than got spoon-fed by an insider) a story like Jones' hiring of Parcells being a p.r., not a football move? Just wondering.