Oh, I see what you did there. And it made me chortle. An honest to god chortle.

Hold up, I got a better one:

Jennifer Aniston and I are surprisingly alike! Her passion for “not talking” is quite similar to posting in the grays on Jezebel. One may as well say nothing at all!

She cropdusted him. I’m certain of it. You know how she do.

When I was a young naive high school lass, I found out my at-the-time-boyfriend had cheated on me. Heart broken, I immediately brought the allegations to his attention and he admitted to them, but explained I was, in fact, confused about the situation. You see she had STOLEN his pants from him and the only way for him…

um excuse me Bobby where is DOUBLE CREATURE FEATURE

Grade: A (You date Betty White.)

Funny thing is they’ve already gone there, but I’m aching for them to take her down a peg to her face.

I’m hoping for those caftans to at least be Lacroix!

I was sad that there were no new stories until I realized you don’t owe fucking Denton any new content.

Awww, one last Pinkham’s Law. Thanks for coming.

Sources say she feels “completely betrayed” by the lesser Hemsworth, and that she’s been “smoking pot more frequently and drinking more to numb the pain.”

I have to appreciate how the gossip in “Closer” seems to be mainly about people with interesting talent and not reality stars.

• Kim Richards isn’t being paid to be on RHOBH.

If I were a celebrity, I would totally troll the paps by wearing varying sizes of those baby bump pads every time I went out just for shits and giggles.

We went to a hookah bar the other night and the diners next to us kept engulfing their table in a huge plume of white smoke. After a few white clouds dissipated, I looked over to them and noticed they had a newborn baby with them. And every time they blew out their smoke, the entire baby carrier just disappeared in…

Well, I don’t know, she’s just waitressing in a restaurant.

PEOPLE WHO INTERRUPT THE CASHIER WHO’S DEALING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN IF IT’S TO ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE GARBAGE PEOPLE AND SHOULD ALL FALL DOWN, REPEATEDLY!!!! (sorry, this Monday is having a case of the Mondays and I’m being a grumpy-face and that was something I HATED. I mean HATED!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!one!!!…

The comments section after these revenge stories is always the best. So many Pinkam’s Law comments!