My weiner is a wizard, what it lacks in HP it makes up in MP.

Who wouldn't like a 600hp weiner?

It would be a great way to send off the Dodge caravan.

How much money can be shaved off the new cars in America if our press photos were also done by a middle schooler? 

I garden. Gets you outside and if you grow your own veggies you can have fresh salad anytime. Or if you’re my son, you get a bunch of tomatoes to run over with your Jeep powerwheel.

Ive been looking at trucks ever since I bought my house. My miniminivan can haul plenty of stuff but you can't beat an open truck bed. Hopefully it'll be good enough to replace my Passat and hopefully they have a manual ST version I can convince my to let me get. 

Mmmmmm Bronco minivan

These truck Bros should just buy RVs or semis and lift them and daily drive it. It’ll be just as useless as their brodozer but twice as cool cause it’ll be twice as wasteful and twice as good for owning the libs. 

I would use the one thing Harley has going for them, their brand. License it out for everything. Carl's Jr Harley Davidson burgers, Harley Davidson mylar balloons at the dollar store, Harley Davidson brand erectile dysfunction medication, etc etc. That way people can still cosplay as a biker badass even if they can't…

I don’t know if it’s still done but the import and euro sance scene had adopted the diamond racing Steelie for awhile and it was awful.

An electric Harley will never sell in big numbers. Every time they're at a light or just cruising down small streets they always hold down the clutch and pull the throttle down just a little to make sure everyone knows how cool they are. How do you let everyone know how cool you are on an electric bike? Until Harley…

But making better cars cost too much and takes too much time. Its Its easier to build crap cars and hope they make it past warranty. 

My take away from this is, real = boring, fun = toy. Ford should just build real fun toys and that’ll dig em out of the rut. And they just need to remember fun isn’t necessarily more hp and more torks but something that doesn’t kill your soul every time you have to drive it. 

Start an American Twingo race series and import these as the race cars. Store all the Twingos in a warehouse while the series mysteriously disappears. Five years later return to your treasure trove of Twingos and cruise around town in your shitbox legally like a king.

You could buy a used leaf with that money and not be stuck with a car that probably has zero support and terrible crash ratings

Time to team up with AutoZone and make a limited edition set of "Jalopnik cookware" automotive inspired kitchen shit that won't make you sick if you use it. I want me some piston wineglasses

Got me there, I completely forget about the FR-S for a second. I got used to calling them Toyobarus I forgot they used to be Toyobaruions. 

M buddies and I definitely destroyed our fair share of Hondas, but we had a shit ton of fun doing so. That being said I've only done bolt ons ever since I moved on to newer and nicer cars. 

I don’t understand car companies always making cars for “students and the youths”. They have no money, not just now but always and forever. The cars marketed to the youngins are always bought by old people anyways.

This is what made 90s Honda’s the best. You didn’t need to be a master mechanic to swap parts between civics and integras. You could be a high schooler making minimum wage but could still afford to have fun working on cars.