Dime Bags Two For One

Bentley Choadenheimer: Thank you, Sean Spicer for being one of the greatest, um, Conserv..., I mean a living legend and um, a legend of conservativism and um, just thanks for being on the show and... 

So now the White House press pool is just the yearbook staff at Barron’s school?

“And so, in conclusion, it is my opinion that the third way to kill a mockingbird was the best of the book. The others seemed like they would be too hard. Thank you.”

Finally, a drug czar who knows where the drugs are.

Steve Bannon looks like a mall Santa who got fired for beard lice.

Steve Bannon looks like Seth Brundle if they remade The Fly using a syphilis bacterium instead of a housefly.

Steve Bannon looks like he discovered freebasing discount gin.

Steve Bannon looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman - now.

Its black history month so let me take this opportunity to talk about me and how unfair the press is and let me name check a few token well-known black folks, inner cities and scene.

In all the other lists being hit by a car was, not exactly metaphorical, but not quite literal either. So this was the first list where I considered the reality of being hit by a car, and then remembered, Oh yeah! I was hit by a car when I was 12! I was selling popcorn door-to-door for the Boy Scouts and a new teen…

This may explain why half the pictures on his Instagram are fax cover pages.

I got a call from his company when I was looking for a mortgage and honestly it was the pushiest, most aggressive pitch I received (of probably a dozen calls). The best part was when I finally asked what rate he would offer me, but he kept trying to talk up Quicken’s corporate image. I kept coming back to “what will…

“For what shall it profit a woman, if she shall gain the whole world, and lose her own sole?”

It seems hypocritical to keep referring to it as an egg and not a chicken.

Jonathan Chait?

Governors of Texas are essentially powerless. The power resides in the LT Gov’s office on purpose. Perry got that job because he was willing to do what he was told to do. (Also - Texans please clarify as I know I’m not 100% correct on this statement...but pretty damn close).

Franken has an educational background in the role he was elected (<- this part is important!) to, and is one of 100 Senators, all of whom have equally weighty votes.

That’s ok if you are not in education. She has been nominated to RUN education. That is not ok, to put it mildly.