In case anyone was unclear, this “stick to cars” is a sarcastic commentary on the “stick to sports” edict that annihilated Deadspin and has lead to such an immense staff turnover at this website. If you think that Jalopnik should stick to cars, please take this moment to punch yourself in the face as hard as…

This! There are plenty of other websites for political views, this should be a car website.

I for one, shall wash my hands lest Gold Japan daddy seeks me in the night to do it for me. 

Based on personal experience, I’m going to wager they are very close to going public. Because this looks a lot like the “Fuck everyone who got us here, it’s time for the owners to get PAID” phase that typically precedes it.

The bonus did exist, according to two people with knowledge of what happened, but it came out of the company’s 60%, not the 40% of profits that were meant to go to employees.

Not cool Randy!

They can’t even get the BO smell out of the stores what the heck do they think they can do with coronavirus?  

And every hotel room comes pre-stocked with someone on the edge of ODing.

Weddings.

Hey, can we get rid of Florida and give Puerto Rico statehood? Just sayin’.

The rare, elusive 5 out of 5 Tyrone Biggumses crack pipe level. For only the crackiest of pipes!

European chassis? the Kappa platform was designed in Michigan and built in Delaware.

Fuck off with the transphobia 

...only the girl has a beard and when you asked what her name is she answered, “Maurice”.

I’m just inherently untrusting of plugins that requires crazy permissions like ‘access your data for all sites’, which is what one would require if it were to block autoplay videos everywhere.

Nice matched riding gear.. I especially the emphasis on the crotchal area. It looks very masculine and not ridiculous at all.

Typical BMW owner, parks his bike in the middle of the road while he goes for a piss...

Cadillac can Celest-iq my balls.