Don't worry St Louis, it'll be baseball season soon... Oh wait

He seems to be holding it down fairly well.

Thanks for clearing that up, but who’s Tyson Chandler?

The Panthers are 7-1 and are going to the championship what are you even talking about

“Cortana, how did I do on that last play?”

You know, Greg. If you want black marks on your face, instead of painting them on, you could do us all a huge favor and punch yourself there repeatedly.

He’s really in no position to be talking shit at this point in his career. I mean when was the last time this has-been was relevant enough to justify his behavior? Do the right thing and retire, Spike.

wait, hasn’t the world already decided that Chris Brown is a piece of shit?

You’re the most embarrassing thing about your company that isn’t named “Kinja.”

Yeah, because it was Cutler out there calling running plays with :54 left in the game, down by 6, with 56 yards to go and two time outs. That’s not a Lovie Smith or Trestman thing.

It’s gonna suck when Steve Bartman sneaks up there and steals the ball before Game 6 of the NLCS.

I will not stand for those who are already pre-emptively expressing disgust for Cubs fans and their newfound success. Success eventually gets annoying for every successful team, particularly those in large markets. And I hate when people say “Cubbies,” and I know Wrigley has always been filled with a lot of people who…

It’s all part of the 12-step program. Just as soon as you’re 12 steps out of the building, they fire your ass.

Public defenders usually have 90-120 clients at any given time. They give a shit, or they wouldn’t be working there. But it’s literally impossible for them to devote this kind of attention to each client. If that pisses you off, you should contact your representatives to allocate more funds and hire more public…

Maybe you are confused. This is a list of teams you can root for in the playoffs.

Whoosh

Gentlemen, GENTLEMEN!

Every time I found myself cheering on the Cubs, TBS would cut to some hellhole Chicago bar full of asshole fans, and I’d be like “Oh yeah, that’s why I root against this team.”

beee-dooo-beep! I’m sorry, the number you are dialing has been disconnected in the detroit area. please hang up and try again.... ☎️ 🏈 🔚

Hyde Park will be okay (due to the private police force).