...at noon.  *oooooOOOOOOoohhhh!*

Dammit, I laughed. Take the star.

He'll have a "kick me" sign on his back in a different language every day!

It’s a little small, but it works for me.

... and get sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher every time he opens his fucking mouth.

I am a big, unapologetic fan of the Aztek. Wife and I had an 01 GT for 4 years, and despite a leaky sunroof and bad AC condenser, it was a champ, and more fun than a barrel of bowlegged monkeys.

So who's job is it to say, hey Kavanaugh, you perjured yourself, you're going to jail?

[Schwarzenegger accent] You just did.

“Trump's America". 

Oh, won’t someone *please* think of the countless poultry and livestock carcasses!

LOL! Try reading that in a lilly-white 50s TV dad voice, it's awesome!

This one gets the Al Pacino Seal of Ass-proval:

Quiet you. Puns are like dogs- there are no bad ones, they are all good.

Agreed, gentlemen! Let this be our salute!

*sniffle* We don't deserve you.

Will it mean more of this, or less?

When I proposed to my GF we lived 3 hours apart. I was spending the night one weekend. It was 2:30am and I was wide awake and nearly in a panic state- I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her the next day for home. So I woke her up and asked her to marry me. She said yes and called her sister to tell her.