I wouldn't know how to write the thing, either. The marketing considerations alone are a nightmare minefield. JFI, if you want the 7 - 15 demo, at least one of the fish has to talk back. And then he's got a name! And so gets an action figure! And so threatens to overshadow the blonde guy's popularity, esp among ironic…

I just assume someone on the last page will come across the remains of the Statue of Liberty sticking out of the sand crooked-like, and just maybe Charlton Heston doing that "damn you all to hell!" speech.

Jesus is toast.

I am not remembering a meat tree, but I must say, it does sound about as magical as a werewolf.

Hannidate was pretty funny, but, unlike Stephen Colbert, it never got me laid.

Suddenly Sookie's fairie finger blasts work on lumber and nails. So should we conclude she can fairie finger blast anything and anyone? I thought she could only fairie finger blast the undead and maybe werewolves/shifters. But fairie finger blasts are really just like shotgun blasts. Do I have this right?

Nobody in the history of questions ever asked you. Nor will they.

I don't explain jokes.

No "Smoke On the Water?" No "Woodstock?" No "I Am the Walrus?"

Even as a whelp, I understood that Marvel villains represented parental figures. Those who intended to rule and take away your freedoms were equivalent to Dad making you get a job. Those who wanted to annihilate you were equivalent to Mom insisting you get married.

My guess is you don't know many - or any - rich people. The hollow and cardboard amongst them has fully paid permission to express itself without reserve or shame. Gatsby is a romance, but it is nearly documentary.

Bob Newhart wakes up from an uneasy dream next to Suzanne Pleshette.

I always thought a fish turning into Don Knotts could be a thing, Splash without the sexy romance, I dunno, call it a fish out of water!

You may know it well, but maybe someone doesn't. Eduardo Galeano's Memory of Fire Trilogy is a beautiful corrective to Anglocentric American histories. Blew the top of my head off, over and over.

The Autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini in a 1924 translation. He was a renowned goldsmith turned sculptor in early 16th century Rome. Lots of convivial bromancing with and commissioned artwork for cardinals and sundry Medicis and palling about with other significant artists, not to mention Michaelangelo hisself…

So Dinesh actually took America back! I'd call that Mission Accomplished!

The word "think" doesn't mean what you feel it means. After all, the President has accomplished more in six years than you will in a lifetime. He likely accomplished more before he was President than you ever will. Your feelies notwithstanding, he is objectively, demonstrably, neither vapid nor null.

If you have a wheel spinning around a spoke, that wheel is broken, probably at the hub.

They'll have to pay the actor triple to wear Question's no-face. That is a career stopper if there ever was one. And besides, while it lookes OK on a comic book page, won't it be awfully unsettling onscreen?

The word everyone is searching for is "bloviation."