So the second letter is basically asking what’s happening when a guy who said he loves you but who has a girlfriend and at least two other mistresses stops touching you except to let you give him oral sex every so often? I . . . really hope that this letter is fake, because otherwise the degree of low self-esteem on…

What awful thing did you have to do in life to get the "haunt a McDonald's in Colorado" assignment?

That’s exactly what I’d expect in a McD’s at 3:30 in the AM.

This publication included the word I’s recently*. I don’t think they’re going to be too concerned about whether consequences are countable.

ghostly shrieking accompanied by “strange language” and “barking” from a phantom woman around 3:30 a.m.

Abe Lincoln in Fight Club... getting kicked by Fred Durst.

You are completely correct, and yet that fact is a deeper condemnation of many things that are true today that aren’t related to Disney - once we’re at the point of saying ‘Disney should have paid for that child’s treatment’ we as a civilization have already failed.

It’s crazy to think about industry standards back then, when you’d regularly have dozens of artists and programmers on a project being so dramatically overworked. Things have come such a long way now that it’s hundreds of them.

1980's Konami: 

That’s not how spelling works, though. Otherwise, “alot”, “could of” and “definately” would also have to get a pass, which they don’t.

At least then there would be some point to it; some reference to anything at all.

Clueless Hero went with the foolproof strategy of being the seventh variation of the same gag

Eh, 55 MPH would have led to the same result. He was an idiot because, even after all the news coverage of Tesla, he still decided to by-pass the safety systems so he could...write a Tweet about how awesome Elon Musk is? Watch a Harry Potter DVD? Who knows. Either way, he ended up decapitating himself in the process,…

You must have never driven in Jersey. 15 over the speed limit on the highway pretty much is the speed limit.

Uhhhhh.  The greatest ad place now of all time was Taco Bell in Demolition Man.  Duh.  

I don’t think I’m the only one who desperately wants a new podracing game. I bet it would sell decently well. Not triple A well, but 1+mil units at least

Yes please!

You could steal a North African wildcat kitten,” he says, “and it’d make a pretty decent cat.”

So we’re just gonna leave fried rice out of the discussion?