“Leave us outta this unless you want The Happening”

“I meant everything I said, I’m just not comfortable with the people who agree with it.”

They think it’s bad because they all know deep down that they’re losers. These are nobodies, people who have nothing going for them and no reason to hold their head up high and be proud of themselves. They know full well that without the unearned advantages of white privilege, they would be the ones at the bottom of…

Speaking as a white person, I fuckin’ hate how white people are such sniveling crybabies. I’ve never understood how assholes like this think diversity is bad.

This can only end in one possible way: Mama John has to start dating again, and they rebrand the comany as “Uncle Roger’s” pizza, the pizza that wants to cop a feel as it sloppily tucks you into bed at night.  Papa John can deliver pizza to you on alternate weekends and for three weeks in the summer.

Oh boy I wonder if the plot will be marginal and the characters underwritten!?

Why are weddings off limits?  Standing in his own backyard minding his own business wasn’t.

Taking a human life is cool, though. WAY more disrespectful to disrupt a wedding than it is to slay another human being. Why, the officer getting married could have his special day of nuptials marred by the very real fact that he ended another sentient creature’s existence! Marred, I say, marred!

Imagine having a job where you have to perform some mildly unpleasant tasks. I guess it’s lucky that I take great pleasure from every conference call I have to attend.

I heard that Donald Trump gives the best blowjobs. Many people are saying this. Too bad you won’t be hearing this from the FAKE NEWS MEDIA!

This must be Q

Parrotagainstlips?

She’s still complicit.

My wife and I rescued a cat off the street about 18 months ago and named him Cat Harvey (Harvey for short) after now-former NY Mets pitcher Matt Harvey. Within 6 months of doing so, the Weinstein scandal broke and Hurricane hit, and it was quite clear we picked the worst cat name of 2017. But alas, that’s his name…

“The simplest possible explanation for what’s become a sprawling mess is that these people are”

unfathomably fucking stupid, every single last one of them. 

The one and only good thing about Trump’s presidency is how it will cement him in history as the fucking idiot he is.

Then I guess it’s a great thing they aren’t the ones running this investigation, huh?

Manipulator? Trump can’t manipulate his dick out of his pants to take a piss.

Someday, you orange motherfucker. Someday.