Right?  After fast food and retail, I’m super happy as fuck to have my office job.  It also helps that it’s mentally stimulating, challenging, and has very positive real-world effects other than massive corporate profits, so I feel like I have a purpose.  

I literally thought the article was going to be “they’ll be extinct next month.”

This.

I’d rather keep the current trolls that occasionally have to eat, sleep, poop, and eventually die.

Uplifting story and all, but dude...

“he’s fucking garbage, and doesnt work there anymore.”

Don’t immediately hang up the phone. This results in the telemarketer marking your lead as “no answer” and calling you back until they actually have a conversation with you.

Oh man, that’s good. If I ever get sucked into one of these things, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

That’s one of my favorite little touches in the videogame The Last of Us.

Harry Potter bored the shit out of me and I dropped it halfway through the third book.

-none of the answers are “ask them to share”

Literally this. It’s not for you at all. It’s for everyone else at your table. These were the exact words to the Applebees birthday song when I worked there:

God fucking damn it, I hate my state so much.

Who cares?

The Taco Bell ones are great.

You know you’re contributing to the media crush, right?

Good riddance.

Yeah, what a shame.

I didn’t want to know anything about it, nor did I ask.

Careful - people tend to get angry whenever you point out this truth.