Meg Ryan is (was?) my absolute all-time undisputed #1 celebrity crush.  I’ve been enamored with her since I was a preteen and saw French Kiss.  But every time I see her now, she looks like a weird plastic alien mummy and it just makes me sad.  Why do so many beautiful people have to destroy their faces with surgery? …

“President Confirms His Son Exists; Has No Comment”

-read this question and immediately start rolling my eyes
-get to the bottom and Salty is just like “gtfo with this dumb shit lol”

Yep, this.  They had their chance to hook me at launch and massively failed.  I see no reason to ever touch it again, not with so many other better, complete-at-launch-and-fun-right-now games coming out.

Love this, and the wife and I are huge advocates of using proper terminology.  We didn’t do anything special, just told the boy he had a penis as soon as he was old enough to understand words.  Never called it a “wee-wee”, never called it a “ding-dong”, just penis.  Penis penis penis.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of -…

You had me at “2 pound cannoli.”

Roughly 86% of all clinical trials fail, so I guess we should just stop trying to discover/develop new life-saving drugs, huh?

I will fucking punch the first person who uses this dumb shit on me.

Show me the lie.

So I’m supposed to tip on top of paying 400% what the food actually costs? Fuck that shit. Yet another reason to never attend live sporting events.

Same.  I watched it one (1) time and absolutely loved it, but can’t imagine ever making myself watch it again.  

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.”

Holy fuck, this is crazy.  I can literally see Newport from my office window.  Like, I just looked to my right and there’s Newport.  As a parent, I can’t imagine anything more horrifying than a child gone missing.  I really hope it’s him and this gets resolved quickly, but regardless of who he turns out to be, I hope…

Taco Bell.

“Gita Discovers Mobile Games” would’ve been a better headline.

I mean...did you think it would have?  Is this supposed to be insightful?  What’s next?  “I Played Pong Today and Wow, It’s Really Boring”?

LOL, absolutely.  I can’t wait for you to come back and read this comment when your kid is 3.

Finally!  This proves they’ve been reading my letters!

Who the fuck watches this shit?

Just stop using Twitter, holy fuck.  It’s not hard, assholes.