My rage-o-meter is in the negatives on this one guys. This is a dumb take.

THIS IS LIKE WHEN YOUR 22 YEAR OLD(?) BLOGGER DIDN’T KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO BABY GOT BACK.

Good god, please tell me you know what she is referencing when she says “LA face with an Oakland booty.” Please, please, please. DON’T MAKE ME FEEL OLD.

Last part

The Denver airport conspiracy theories are just about the only ones I somewhat kind of believe in because there are so many weird things about it! A few choice items:

“Doug and I weren’t planning on going public with this so soon. I’m only four weeks along in my pregnancy. But some things are out of your control.”

You’re so right.

You are all so brave

Right. This is her exact quote about it from the Nerdist podcast. She doesn’t say it wasn’t him but she EXPLICITLY takes Jez to task for setting the internet mob on it.

I’m pretty sure Jen Kirkman explicitly denied that it was about CK, which seems like a big omission considering how pissed she was at you all for tying her to CK in the first place.

I don’t know if it is my love for Stewart clouding my judgement, but it seriously just sounds like he admitted to never hearing those rumors before, which is believable because the only reason I know of those rumors is because of this site.

I am a marine biologist and I know for a fact this is 100% accurate.

*raises hand*

That isn’t slut shaming. That’s fucking a married person shaming, which is a shitty thing to do regardless of your gender. It is quite relevant because Stewart apparently only empathizes with people she can “personalize,” whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean, something akin to “know” I suppose.

I think - and I could be mistaken - that the author is saying that having people talk shit because you slept with a married dude is not on the same plane as the decades of allegations brought against Allen if we’re comparing how rumors can mess up your life, not to mention how we would view those individual “sins.”

Cher: she is talking about going to See’s Candies, which is clearly her fave, because she knows a lady who’s been there 16 years. But a man who’s only been there 2.5 years is already the manager.

Have you ever watched Key and Peele? Do you get paid for this? Are you ripping off the review for the Guy Fieri Times Square restaurant? Am I doing it right?

CALLED IT.

Their newborn’s name is actually their first-born daughter Esmeralda Amada Gosling’s middle name.

Simon Van Kempen was more sad and desperate to a point where he became deeply uncomfortable to watch. Their desperate social climbing was always ridiculously awkward.