This is spiraling out of control....

Fox News is run by creeps for morons. Special category.

Yes. I now want a t-shirt with “Fuck’s Wrong With You” printed on it.

That's GOLD, Jerry! GOLD!

... Because I really needed to inhale my coffee directly into my lungs. Thank you.

I wish my coffee was dispensed from cat-ass. That some fancy shit.

I had to stop reading for a moment, to come down here and comment on how fucking amazingly beautiful this section of the article was, "Many things are moist. Motor oil. Braised pork belly. A bog. Bangladesh." Like seriously, it made me lol while enriching my soul.

I won't lie, I had to google unguent, I had not clue what it meant.

"Palm-sized wad" is truly inspired. I also like "unguent loaf" and plan to slip it in to a conversation ASAP.

Owee! Wasn't their tagline "Clean as a whistle"? lol

I have to disagree. As a woman who in her teens once made the mistake of washing her hoohah with Irish Spring soap and "felt the burn," some soaps SHOULD be stricken from the earth.

That's a fantastic idea. Shit We Hate.

Sam why am I not surprised in the least.

Did you...did you just...did you just explain where the grease comes from that your non-tech writing has?!

i love this whole post

I don't know why but I feel an immense level of satisfaction when you guys rip into a product for whatever reason. Can you make this a weekly feature?

I suspect the Cilantro Haters' Association has seen this post.

"...if BuzzFeed's constitutional cynicism were a body of water you could drop the fucking Burj Khalifa into it and be a breeze of dust motes on the far side of the universe before it hit bottom."

As a teenager, I rubbed Dove soap on myself every morning and night, and also right before lunch and then mid-afternoon, and also right before cross-country practice, but then right after cross-country practice, and I would take a break from homework to rub Dove soap on myself, and sometimes even I had to leave in the…

Possibly. I try not to think about the fact that the same company which makes my mayonnaise also makes my shampoo.

Unrelated, but I thought of you today when someone at work told me they think Olive Garden is really good Italian food.