"Our starting quarterback, Rudy Johnson, was beaten up...and he didn't beat himself up."

And they're so lazy that they used a Roomba to clean up cereal from a countertop!!!

Meanwhile, the other Jonathan Martin is getting a bunch of Tweets from ignoramuses threatening to "kern the fuck out of his fucking typeface"....

As I've said before in previous comments (I say that more selfishly for myself, because I doubt you have ever noticed said comments), but as a white guy who has lived in both the north and south (not to mention a short bid in the Midwest): I've found people in the north to be significantly more bigoted/racist.

Cajuns are white. They're descended from French colonists who were pushed out of the Canadian Maritimes. I'm going to assume you mean "creole," but the joke doesn't even make sense then. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Just...look, google and Wikipedia are helpful tools.

ELBOWS =/= LOCKED

Why does no one in these videos bother to tie their boxes or chairs down? It's also not technically a pushup if your chairs slide out from under you and you break your nose.

Coach should be thrown in jail for endangering children by exposing them to the biohazardous grease sponges Hooters calls "wings."

Stolen Jewish gold from the Holocaust?

/sorry

OMON (Russian: ОМОН—Отряд мобильный особого назначения, Otryad Mobilniy Osobogo Naznacheniya, Special Purpose Mobile Unit)

Man, if I was surrounded by dicks all week at work, the last thing I'd want to do is go to a Patriots game on the weekend.

But is he lucky?

Dr. J: Oh yeah, I liked her, she gave good head. Whenever I needed a blowjob, all I had to do was show up at her house. One day though, she had all this metal shit on her busted teeth and I couldn't fit my dick in there. So I stuck it in the other place.

He threw it into triple coverage when another receiver was wide open in the flat. Being this is Oregon, I can only conclude the kicker is Joey Harrington's kid

Only one thing I didn't understand about that article, which was every single fucking word.

I don't/doing understand/stood the/that question(s). It is/was hard to read/ing.

While suspending him for being critical of a teammate is idiotic and petty, if they're going to go down that road, could they tack on a couple of days for centering the entire text?

Oh, yeah?

And who is this Carl Sandburg person? Probably just some guy you know.

Whoever he is, you can be sure he's not teaching in American public schools. All of those folks told me that poetry rhymes. Zing!

Hate all you want... Sure, it's not an incredibly well constructed poem. However, the most disturbing part of all of this is that a student both followed the assignment AND found his own personal form of expression and got suspended for it. You have to love our education system. This guy should have just filled in the…