I assumed he wanted to drain the swamp so the things that live in the slime could join his cabinet.

You get the McDonalds order wrong once, just once, and look what happens. You’re off the team.

Didn’t he put Jared’s daddy in jail or something?

Fringe references will always get my stars.

Also, black guy for job with “urban” in the title.

OMG, you simply must apply for a job at the Trump House. You’re awesome at this!

So Cruz in charge of Fish and Wildlife Service?

no, it’s the Upside Down.

My son was stolen from me when he was a child. My wife committed suicide. Technological horrors run amok. We are beset by terror on a daily basis. We are engaged in battle with a mirror universe on one side and with superior beings from the future on the other. All while the very fabric of reality is tearing itself…

Just like Reagan’s spokesman was Larry Speakes?

Ted Cruz has all the things he had coming to him being cashed in at once. I don’t feel even a little sorry him.

I feel that 2016 is the turd you flush but then pops back into the bowel at the last moment. And no I will not find a gif of that.

JokesYob: “Affirmative Action.”

I won’t rest easy until I hear James Comey publically state that even though the FBI isn’t pressing charges he’s convinced Pitt showed reckless behavior and “fully update” Congress with a vague letter.

The lesson I got from that interaction isn’t that Justin Bieber hates his fans. It’s that he has the right to not be touched against his will. I was damn glad when Gigi lashed out at Vitalii Sediuk and I fully support Justin’s defending himself, too. Nice hypocrisy, Gabrielle. Bet you’d be pissed as hell if someone…

Breaking news 5 minutes ago: FBI director says no charges for brad pitt although says he used very poor judgment.

To be fair, Jeffrey Wright was programmed to say that by Anthony Hopkins, so I’m not really sure that counts as a black man’s perspective.

It’s gotta be Jared!

Because we don’t have periods. Seriously, how can we trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die? How???

75% of voters in Florida used mail or early voting (and she was FAR in the lead) and a blog reporter says it’s simply mathematically improbable that she lost this or several other states based on those numbers. So I wouldn’t put massive fraud past this lot.