I don’t know in what universe you think a man gets a pass to make horribly dated, sexist jokes about women (and LGBT people) just because he happens to not be white, but I don’t want to live in it.

Young Ben Affleck starred in that! (I was too old to see it in school, but I worked for a company that used it as a sample digital video in the early 90s.)

Husbands always care more about it. Always. And very few ever even consider changing their own last name (not hyphenate, actually change it).

There was a woman who used to come into the place I worked named Mrs. Slutsky. I just wanted to ask her, "Why? Why would you agree to take that name? At what point are your husband's stupid traditions a higher priority than not having to tell people your name is Mrs. Slutsky???"

If I met Octavia Spencer, I would be disappointed if she didn’t roll her eyes.

Dude, he still looks like Matt Stafford.

No, you can machine wash down comforters. (The cleaning column on GM had a post on it, I used her method on mine and it came out perfect.) You can also put them in the dryer, as long as you throw in some tennis balls/dryer balls/sneakers.

“Children’s holiday”? You mean the holiest day of the Christian calendar, all about death and rebirth and redemption from sin, is for kids? What church did you go to?

I grew up in Northern Wisconsin, so the concept of Easter Egg Hunts was alien to me (as is seeing the grass at Easter). My mom just hid my basket somewhere in the house. I honestly thought that was what an Egg Hunt was — until I saw Steel Magnolias. Still seems dumb.

She played the head of NCIS for a couple seasons. My housemate is totally into the show and wanted to know why she left, so I looked into it for him — apparently she married some Tea Party dude with political aspirations, so she moved to TX and tried to make the producers of NCIS give her the same money while only…

The latter part of his comment wasn’t the problem. If he’d said, “Fuck that guy”, it still would have required an apology, since the issue wasn’t the noun, it was being a pouty sore loser at a press conference. Sheesh.

Yeah, I doubt any self-diagnosed person not eating gluten is spending 10% of their income on the cost differential of gluten-free food. Someone with celiac and, most likely, other secondary conditions is A. almost surely officially diagnosed and B. spending money on more items than just going gluten free (like…

I found it amusing that the producers of NCIS not only brutally killed off her character, but when they brought back pretty much every recurring character ever for the 200th episode, including the dead ones, they only used file footage of her vs bringing back all the other actors.

In reality, this deduction is meant for people with serious medical conditions (so they are definitely diagnosed and already probably taking the medical deduction) that are on expensive specialty diets, like the formulas used for tube-feeding.

That guy is a teenager? Yikes.

That's sort of how my summer time indulgence of taco salad/seven layer dip has morphed into just sour cream mixed with taco seasoning, a bunch of diced tomatoes and shredded cheddar cheese, sometimes all stirred up into one big gooey mess.

My mom dated a weightlifter when I was a kid, and he would make this concoction of sardines, peanuts, cottage cheese, chili sauce, and possibly the essence of pure evil, all mashed together. It both looked and smelled vile. I would have to leave the house when he ate it. God, my mother had horrible taste in men.

You mix the butter with sugar for the ultimate snack (inspired by my mother creaming the butter as the first step of making cookies). It is amazingly good.

You know the patriarch was in the state legislature for a bit, right? Sounds like you don’t know what you’re talking about either.

Cannibal sandwiches! Is he from Wisconsin? They serve that at parties, no lie.