My phone autocorrected it to shit. That must say a lot about me.

Scout popcorn is INSANELY OVERPRICED.

An old acquaintance (now former acquaintance) from high school tried to pull a fast one on me with a MLM. I met her at a nearby bar, thinking we were catching up. “Surprisingly” enough, a whole group of people she knew were also there! “Let’s all go into this party room for some privacy!” Then out came the slideshow…

I feel like Ask The Salty Waitress became How To Adult so gradually we hardly noticed.

The first option is terrible! Buying stuff from her and then indicating you are open to buying in the future. The invites will never stop.

JUST TELL HER NO, DONT HUMOR HER!

Alternatively you don't owe this monster any sort of explanation.  Not interested should be enough of a shit down.

Why not just be honest? “No, I don’t need/want anything.”

Just fuck her husband/sister/grandma and make sure she walks in on you. Bonus points if you can work in the Pampered Chef crap she peddles.A whisk in the ass in always a nice touch.

You’d buy popcorn to support a friend’s kid’s scout troop even if you didn’t like popcorn, but it’s not like that kid hits you up every month.

That she keeps inviting you / bringing it up is your own fault because you’ve given her excuses rather than just telling her you’re not interested.

One of the worst things about these pyramid schemes is how they manipulate their participants to try and monetize their friendships

I feel bad for people who’s friends do that to them - especially if they genuinely like that person and don’t want to end the friendship over that

Dear Question Asker:

It’s Option Two. It is only EVER Option Two. Leaving aside the problem of Pampered Chef being more expensive than the items are really worth (I mean, go to a fancy kitchen store and get the fancy version for the same $$$), what happens if you DO select Option One? Your “friend” will see you as an…

If this person doesn’t contact you outside of these parties to hang out, grab coffee, grab lunch, grab a beer, get the kids together for a playdate, etc., etc., etc., then this person IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. You are a customer to them, that is all. 

None of my friends are dumb enough to be involved with stuff like this, but if they were, each friend would get one, and by “one” I mean one invitation, which I would politely but firmly decline, not one attendance by me. A second invite would get them put on friend probation, and a third invite...well, let’s not go…

Don’t make excuses. You don’t need to explain yourself. If they can’t accept a simply ‘Sorry, I can’t make it’ then that’s on them and not you. That is literally the only answer you need to give. 

1) don’t keep friends that are jabroni enough to do this MLM crap to begin with

Just say not thanks not my thing. I learned a long time ago to just say no to things like this or any other things I am not interested in attending. Yes it will be awkward for a few seconds or maybe not , but you are not wasting your time and not wasting their time , because if you make an excuse of why you can’t go…

“I’m not a fan of weird pyramid scheme shit and can get everything I need off Amazon.”

“Also, Supperware products are ideal for storing leftovers, to help stretch your food dollar.”