“You don’t want him to check his bag on the way home . . .”

I would hope that most people can see the difference between a protected class and a non-protected class.  Bummer.

Oh wow.  A vegan joke.  Groundbreaking.  You should do stand up.

yeah dude. we are saying that “discriminating” against someone because they choose a profession is okay.

I don’t know. I can watch some dude get his head smashed by a zombie in GOT. But seeing a birth scene would cause me to relive my own (traumatic, horrible, shitballs) delivery of my daughter so NO THANKS.

Do people really say “I’m Asian?!”  Asia is a continent that contains over half the world’s population and thousands of cuisines.

I picture this person walking around life with their shoulders hunched forward, constantly wringing their hands, their brow nervously furrowed, eyes darting side to side . . .

I don’t know but I fucking love those comments.

Yeah I haven’t taken liquids out of my bags in years.  No one cares.

MY HUSBAND HAD TO GO TO A BACHELOR PARTY IN MEXICO CITY.  WE LIVE IN MICHIGAN.

Growing up (poor) I was always so jealous of the amazing STYLE of the well-dressed girls. Flash forward to now when I have money to spend and I realize it’s not style, it’s just money. People venerate women like Tory Burch like she has some magical, mysterious quality when really . . . it’s just money.

IT NEVER HITS IT I CAN’T STAND IT

You sound depressed.  If you feel like this negatively impacts your life (it sounds like it does!),  there’s nothing wrong with getting on a med that will make it stop.

“his suffering victimized” her is a really amazing way of saying he abused her and then killed himself 4 days after she escaped . . . 

This first time my husband and I had a babysitter after our daughter was born we went out to eat then walked aimlessly around Target for an hour b/c we didn’t want to disappoint the babysitter by having such an early night . . .

What the fuck is wrong with you

As a parent, I 100% agree with you.  If I pony up for a fucking babysitter b/c I want to go out to a nice meal with my husband, I’d better not be sitting next to a bunch of asshole kids.

I can never have enough fresh garden tomatoes.

Tbf, you said “I don’t normally bag on the youth, but now I’m going to bag on the youth.”

So your dad was a middle aged man dating a child he met . . . outside of her senior english class?