Tell me about it! His movies make such innovative, explosive statements. Things like "Halloween and Christmas are different things", "living with scissors for hands wouldn't be easy" and "Alice in Wonderland has some dark undertones"

Remember that Simpsons episode? The one where Selma marries Troy McClure to turn his career around? Well, see, in that episode, he gets a job where he's in a musical version of Planet of the Apes. I wish I could remember some of those quotes, because they'd probably all be pretty good right now. Anyway, it's a great…

"Breitbort" would be a pretty good AVClub username.

The head of my college department is an academic dinosaur coasting on his sycophancy to the central management, his influential and famous literary friends and his reputation from TV and radio. He thinks that my college should be able to deny access to anyone who didn't attend private school. The only time I have ever…

How about Poop Poopniversity? HA! Take that, Duke!

"Jamaican? I thought you were some kind of outer space potato man!"

The show also seems to take a sudden swerve away from the idealism that made it so distinctive. The hostility which emerged with Speaker Haffley and the general powerlessness of the Bartlett administration that represented, and the selection of a subpar VP. Hoynes might have been a dick, but he gave an impression of…

His eagerness to show his own intelligence through a self-conscious flashy style got a bit much at times, but that criticism could be levelled at a half-dozen highly acclaimed professional authors. It felt like an honest attempt to write something sophisticated by an obviously intelligent man, and was a refreshing…

I was going to mockingly suggest that this would be about Conservative politicians conspiring to turn Manchester into a giant slaughterhouse, convincing all but one sexually ambiguous intellectually enlightened youth to be willingly murdered while he rages impotently against the system, but I actually kind of like…

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in this stables! That's the War Horse!"

TV Finished watching seasons 5-7 of The West Wing. I loved the first four, but the bad reputation means it took me three years (and a half dozen rewatches of those first 4 seasons). I enjoyed it more than I expected, and might write up retro reviews at some point seeing as AVC won't get to them anytime soon.

I, too, have spent grey summer Saturdays munching soggy chips by the seafront, watching seagulls squabble over floating condoms. The parts of this that appeal to British culture in particular are, I think, the most successful. Julie Burchill has contributed a Punch and Judy Show linked to sexual and domestic violence,…

"Disney's status as a corporate entity is often at odds with its attempt to provide a world of fantasy and whimsy". Oh, wow. What a statement.

My all-vowels gimmick account works even less well. Or should I say:

Yeah, they could do a lot of things

The Coen Brothers' O Super Smash Brothers, Where Art Thou?

This is the most misguided romantic move involving Michael Myers since The Love Guru

Oh, so now you want us to forget about something? Too late, Doctor. If that even is your real title!

Jokes about comic books AND government bureaucracy! This is everything I could ask for with my Friday night!

"To receive your billion dollar box office, you must fill out standard form Infinity War Part II (B) and Infinity War Part I (C). Failure to complete these forms may result in Fantastic Four"