It's pronounced "Ah-roo" in the show.

For a while now I've had an idea for the Hellblazer TV show I'd like to see, and who the hell else am I gonna share this with: Don't make Constantine a magical crime-fighter, demon-hunter, ghost-buster or occult detective. He's not Sam/Dean Winchester or Harry Dresden. He's an anti-hero in the Don Draper, Tony…

I can't remember if this was the final version as there was a lot of improv once we got sick of performing the thing after two weeks of the five week run. There might be a few weird format elements from converting it over from .pdf:

It's a little over a year since a friend and I somehow convinced our fledgling university comedy group to throw out their moderately successful history of sketch shows in favour of a strange, hastily-written play about the will reading of a forgotten seventies sitcom star. Audiences hated it, and our own director…

I'm from the same small English town as two of the members of Joy Division, and the "everyone knows everyone" factor was enough that every member of my family has a story about them. I think the best is when they shot Control, the Ian Curtis biopic, just around the corner from my aunt's house. Everyone on the street…

Being British and much more familiar with Scottish accents than Cajun, Moira McTaggert's "Yuir" always stood out to me most. But at least that faded, whereas Gambit's accent somehow became a key part of his character to the point that even typically decent dialogue writers seemed to feel the need to include it.

After some very brief research, it turns out that these face-frame things were popular in the nineties (Havok had one too) because it saved drawing hairlines. While it's mostly just a pointless dumb headgear, there was a period where it was part of his "internal armour" after he got upgraded by Mr Sinister.

The comic from the 90s I choose to lavish with most love is Preacher, and there's no way that a heavy-handed adaptation of that is ever happ—oh, for fuck's sake.

Gambit is a world-class thief who wears hot pink body armour. And I think one of those amateur boxing headgears? How was nineties X-Men even real?

Gambit's (and by extension his supporting cast's) phonetic Cajun accent might be the worst artistic choice ever made in superhero comics. Even the most objectionable storytelling and out-of-character retcons can be explained away, but that borderline unreadable fucking thing is stuck to a character who somehow became…

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Like there's a guy chucking them from a basket of genitals, or is this more of a pitching machine situation?

(tugs at tie) Ah…hey, you ever wonder what it'd be like if Richard Nixon worked at a Starbucks? I reckon it'd go a little like, ah, "Here's a coffee that costs a lot! But…but…I'm not a crook!"…yeah? (vaudeville hook)

Boy, that Mike Huckabee sure is outspoken for a guy whose ancestors once hucked a bee! (pause for laughs)

At the same time, I'm worried that if you delve too far into that "subversive" realism, you wind up on the other side, with a condescending, preachy tone going "Oh this is how things really are, sheeple". Which is fine, given that a little bit of preaching is necessary with how fucked up the American political system…

A HBO series by David Simon about sexuality and urban politics will never achieve the heights of scribbled studio notes reading "Gritty Wonder Woman? And none of that feminism crap!"

You Cum on the King, You Best Not Miss

His middle name is Rudolph, which is definitely worse than growing up as "Wally". And I didn't have to look that up, which is worst of all.

If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!

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