Thanks to a panel-wide misunderstanding of Asian geography and some nimble betting work, he won.

The problem is when you bump into one of the waitresses they all go flying everywhere.

He took over for T.J. Beatitjustalittlebit

Triggered much?

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

I’m not going to go into overwrought, sensationalist proclamations here, but something about this DOES feel like a bit of a watershed moment for ESPN, right?

Man, I’ve never known of a Gary Anderson to make his first mistake when it mattered most.

Yeah, still going to nope. I don’t go up to spiders and poke, prod, or fuck with them. I wish to avoid them, they wish to avoid me. But if I’m coming into contact with a spider, it is by accident and probably will be because I push up against them say in bed while they’re under the blankets. Or worse. So there is no…

“Alright, I wrote the article. Please get off my neck.”

I hadn’t thought of that! Oh that would be beautiful!

So if I’m at an event and Pence is there, all I have to do to get him to leave is to kneel? Shouldn’t this be on Lifehacker?

I wonder if he’s ever thought about having games like that in April, May, or June instead of October. Just to see what it’s like.

Wait, you’re telling me the Chiefs gave the ball to Washington and then took it back a couple moments later? I feel like there’s a term for that..

think he paid double to have his suit dry cleaned?

Oh shit, he pulled the first recorded “double Tebow”. Well, you know Ray, if you’re gonna do something serious, make sure to do it double

Do you still get 2 minutes for Hooking while playing in Vegas??

Alas, the President can make the claim that as the head of the Executive Branch he’s not actually an employee of said branch. This same take is how his lawyers are arguing his right to hire Jared (employees can’t hire family members but Trump as the head of the EB isn’t an employee and thus isn’t subject to that…

I hope they labeled the manila envelope it came in “SUPER SECRET EVIDENCE AGAINST ZEKE” to make sure he opened it quickly.

We’ll give you a chance to come back. No we won’t.