• CELL PHONE

ugh the thought of the smell made me wanna hurl

It’s amazing how often people can’t remember what they put up there when.

My wife’s an ER doc, and I feel pretty confident she’d trade for any of these to avoid the numbingly commonplace “VAGINA:

I don’t know if I would have time to hit the “entertaining guests by inserting the wooden leg of chair into his rectum party” when I have to stop by the “fisting party”. Both sound like fun.

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”