as a general rule of thumb:

i never really “got” what was so great about toronto (i mean, besides the music and general big city stuff you don’t get in smaller ontario cities) till i went to a raps game c. 2009.

i only ever saw TFC play Liverpool at skydome a few years back, and it was like 80% Liverpool fans, and i got horrendously drunk, so it was... fun? i think? i would think the makeup of soccer fans in toronto would probably make it a more tolerant atmosphere, though.

BJs and Leafs games are basically 100% attended by white folks, about 60% of whom voted for Ford. I wore my Karlsson jersey to a Sens/Leafs preseason game a few years back and was pelted with more homophobic slurs than you would think possible in a city with one of the largest pride celebrations on the planet, but…

now that this terrible summer is mercifully over, can we agree that summer (at least in the northeastern part of this continent (aka the only part that matters) is kinda shit?

(i say this as someone without AC in their apartment and a tendency to sweat the second i put my bike helmet on)

if i was a better bettor, i’d find some site that’s willing to put a line on TV ratings for this nonsense and take the under.

don’t eat anywhere near the arena, unless you’re getting street meat. overpriced douchebaggery as far as the eye can see.

Or, like, throwing 562 of them in a food processor for bad ideas.

How great would this be as half-time entertainment? Kinda like the half-court free throw deal, but get a drunken (read: any) fan to try and juke through 11 blue jackets from the 20 to the endzone.

aw, man, reading this brought me back to three glorious years on the coast, makin’ eggs n bacon, wakin’ n bakin’, and aggressively chilling over hop-heavy craft brews till the end of SNF. never was i happier to embody a region’s stereotypes so fully.

*sees all the columbine shooting references already made* uhh, this will make for, uhh..., decent documentary fodder for michael moore some day?

torontonians will somehow become even MORE self-satisfied than now if AubRih actually comes to fruition. with the exchange rate, it’ll be even bigger than bey + jay.

this is just about the only thought that’s keeping my lady friend and I from finding the closest bridge and plunging to a lovers’ death.

favourite non-simpsons 90s/early 00s animated show?

hey, but the skytrain and sea-to-sky highway are pretty dope

There’s no good answer besides cancelling them forever, but listing things is fun! 5 rings, 5 cities for each summer/winter. Africa gets the short stick here, but what else is new. I suppose Sydney and Joburg or Cape Town could alternate just to take the wind out of Australia’s perpetually fully blown sails.

I would love to see what the ratings were for the CBC in Canada here, as they put ABSOLUTELY EVERY SINGLE EVENT online to stream for free without any strings attached. Anecdotally speaking, plenty of my millennial friends, sports fans or otherwise, streamed at work just to have the background noise. I sure as shit…

tl;dr: your favorite team is stupid and will be worse this year

to be fair, there probably isn’t a ruler long enough to measure it.

when i’m at work (like right now) i waste most of my down time on deadspin/the broader gawker empire. where do you waste your down time, as reading deadspin etc would probably be considered “work”?