It finally happened. We can finally, legitimately use this gag straight up:

In seeking relevance, he turns to a 25 year old commercial slogan but then goes to the wrong fast food restaurant. It’s a perfect mix of incompetence and appealing to the olds that demonstrates he’s a legitimate Republican candidate.

Sanford getting the fast-food joint wrong makes the whole thing even more sad.

“My friends, where’s the beef?!?”

kill yourself

This nigga guilty as hell. No middle men, no weasel words, he out here literally asking for info on a political opponent from a foreign leader because he didn’t get whacked hard enough the last time he did it.

I just. I can’t. I can’t even. He did all this shit to his body for attention, and now he, of all people, has to go into witness protection. He’s not going to last 5 minutes before he posts an Instagram picture of his new crib in Boise, because he wants attention. I get that the government has a duty to protect him,…

Y’know... I’ve been so exhausted on occasion that I possibly could have been considered impaired on my drive home. Never did walk into the wrong apartment, though.

That’s what gets me too. The earbuds, the ice cream, the Gucci Main book- he just wanted to relax in his own place.

Ah, so they’ve already jumped to word two of their standard playbook for when events cause their planned campaign reboots to jump the rails. I’m sure they’ve got someone on the “Well yeah, he said it, but you only found out about it because of people that we don’t like” word one of their prepared script.

BASIC MATH AND GETTING GOOD GRADES ARE JUST A WAY FOR THE LIZARD PEOPLE OVERLORDS TO DETERMINE WHO TO SEND TO THE UNDERGROUND POISON MINES UNDERNEATH COSMIC PIZZA

It also would stop real quick if LE agencies informed callers to think carefully if they want to continue their complaint because calls to Emergency Responders that turn out to be unfounded would be billed to them.

It’s a shame that this type of asinine behavior will finally stop only because other, sane customers just trying to get to their destination on time will shout these racist idiots into the ground if they keep fucking up their schedule over bullshit.

The market doesn’t want to go back to the dirtiest of cars. It’s just that simple. Guess what, Donald? Even conservatives like hybrids.

Dear California - want to bring this whole, dumbfuck nation to its knees? Withhold your payroll taxes. You have the ninth largest economy in the world. You are a huge net exporter of income taxes. You essentially fund the US economy.

Trump slashed auto emissions standards and the auto makers DIDN’T take advantage of it (which greatly angered Trump). Because the automakers know Trump is an abberation and all of the psychotic nihilist harm he is currently doing will be undone once the man is dealt with and put in prison.

Trump was only a businessman on TV. What he is, and always has been, is a swindler and a crook. He pulled off the greatest con of them all by gaining the presidency. It will protect him from doing a much deserved perp walk before he dies.

Terrorist Training Tip #27 – Real Muricans leave floaters!

I courtesy flush when I’m home. ALONE. It’s when I don’t that the authorities should be called.

Miss Vickies is my favorite of the bunch!