I’m sure we’d all like to pretend the late 90s didn’t look like that, but... they did.

There is no world in which I would pay that for Starbucks.

In real life most Starbucks employees are perfectly fine with you not acknowledging their nonsense naming conventions. 

Calm down, kiddo. It’s just tv.

If people were sent home as soon as they were eliminated the internet can and would figure out the order long before any of these shows aired, so contestants are kept sequestered for the entire filming process.

Thats... on the high end for a small Starbucks coffee. It’s more like $2.10 where I live.

The point is that this entire idea is ridiculous and delusional and shows no idea about how television is made or what you have to do to be successful at it, and furthermore is fueled completely by petulant resentment, so what the fuck else are we supposed to do except point and laugh at the dorks who think this is a…

something something well-done coffee with ketchup

My Thanksgiving was awesome last year, mostly because my dad finally handed total control of the menu over to me and most of the discussion was about how much better Thanksgiving is when you have your choice of three kinds of mini-hamburgers.

Yeah. I wanna live in the place where Terminator happened. Because I have a death wish.

Until Trump came along Nixon was the hands down record holder for presidential status anxiety.

You’re not a victim and this temper tantrum won’t turn you into one. 

Actually no, only people who are working towards redemption deserve it. Everyone deserves the expectation that they can work towards redemption, but you still have to put in the work.

“require audience members to wear stupid glasses over their real glasses”

Hard cider was literally the symbol of the Harrison campaign.

Why do you have a copy of the Declaration of Independence? You should donate that thing to a museum.

“I’ve used those Mario Batali recipes for years because they work, but surely there are better versions that yield more delicious results. “

I had a Jeff Smith cookbook that sat on my shelf for years, and every once in a while I would look at and think I should get rid of it. I used it all of once in a decade, but I’m super bad at getting rid of books. Then, last fall, my roommate moved to California and gave me most of her cookbooks, which meant now I had…

I don’t think ever? I’m pretty sure the initial announcement said they’d be closing afternoons of the 29th, but it’s been a while, so I may not be remembering correctly.

They got like, most of the same letters and everything.