You’re doing a bang-up job of dulling Occam’s razor.

Meanwhile Standing Rock Sioux Tribe is allowed to be attached by dogs and arrested for protecting THEIR land. Good job, world. But a fork in me because I am done.

This is unbelievable. Good job to my home state of Oregon for filling a jury pool with fucking idiots. Good job to the federal prosecutors for also being fucking idiots.

“Not my first choice, believe me.”

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

+1 let the big dog eat. great comment was starting to get a bit long, but then you closed strong. 9/10

I’m 29 and I can not tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about going back and playing little league, not as a kid, but as an adult. I would fucking dominate and feel a power that I’ve never felt before. Imagine getting a 40mph floater right down the middle and taking it deep, rounding the bases while staring…

“What do you think I’ve been doing over here?” — Trump

RIP. I think there should be a moment of silence in honor of Dennis tomorrow at every NFL game. He defined inspirational.

Ed Snowden is an American hero
Julian Assange is a rapist
It bugs me when they are conflated under the Wikileaks umbrella.


And the Keep Calm & Carry On meme bullshit hurts my soul, but will probably outlive me

FINALLY! It’s about damn time an old white dude with a mustache publicly moralized about how things should be.

I know, gang brawls? throwing bananas at black players? Super low class. Oh wait, that was soccer.

We should all just play soccer. There is never any violence associated with that sport around the world. Very tame fans.

Why do you assume that everyone who has already fucked a jelly donut knows to heat it up?

These are all from me.

Presumably, we all have room for improvement.

Why would Rocket feel the need to give Samer instructions on heating up the jelly donut before he fucks it if he’s assuming Samer already has experience doing so? 

Rocket McFadden is totally voting Hillary.