I have to point something out. You described “numbness” (the absence of sensations) and went on to talk about being in pain all the time. Potentially confusing, eh?

My experience; I default to being numb. Usually accomplished by distracting myself with reading crap on the internet, watching TV, playing a game. When I…

Dead on, mate. You describe it perfectly.

At least in myself, I describe depression like this - imagine that over time, you realize that you no longer have the ability to feel joy. I don’t mean the kind of short-term pleasure you’d get from having sex or eating ice cream, but the simple enjoyment you’d get from playing video games, watching a movie, or doing…