If you’re goal is to help the poor, unfortunate Rays attract a big name international free agent, then a draft would be the way to do so. It sound like you’re talking out of both sides of your mouth. On the one hand, a draft is bad for the players, but the cap is bad for baseball. I understand there is no perfect…

I have no idea to what extent this is a minority opinion, but Conan the Barbarian holds the fuck up. Not in an ironic way. Not in a campy way (at least not entirely). Not in a so-bad-it’s good way.

So you’re gonna masturbate? Good for you. Charity begins at home, after all.

The sound of silence, in slow motion.

Absolutely correct on all fronts, but come on: if you’re gonna be flawed, you might as well be flawed in the “we’re gonna score 120 every night and give up 120 every night” way and not the “watching us will make you want to travel back in time and smother James Naismith in the crib” way.

who at the art department thought of this wig

If you didn’t imagine a Benny Hill scene where the British policemen in their big hats with batons are chasing after the pedophiles on a soccer pitch, well, you’re a better person than I.

I don’t know you! That’s my purse!

The deal is the entrenched DNC leadership can’t win a goddamned election to save their idiot lives but they can certainly drag down any internal challengers, and aren’t above collaborating with alt-right media to stay in power.

This is not a very good bear.

So you’re saying I shouldn’t have fucked that koala?

Victoria Secrets does Final Fantasy cosplay.

I just came here to say the same thing. It seems like once I month I have to remind some fools that all chaps are assless and that koalas have chlamydia.

Damn, I bet Isiah wouldn’t trade that moment for anything. At least not without including a few first round draft picks in the deal.

What l337 hackz are we perusing today to pwn various n00bs?

He looks like a Square Enix character’s lawyer dad.

My mother kind of hates me at the moment for showing her “You’re Welcome” because it’s so. Damn. CATCHY.

“Back for an unprecedented second nomination, it is both my honor, my privelege, and my pleasure to present the always-incomparable Adele Dazeem.”

Actually, this would be pretty awesome, and they should just have him re-introduce Adele Dazeem every year.

This is literally the least important thing governments need to get involved with.

How do you do, fellow cheaters?