Kinda hard to prevent accidental boners. Lotsa pressure on a young man, he did swell otherwise, had been stroking it pretty good prior to, so don’t measure him by that. Alright then...

Neat, uh, dunk.

I prefer watching flies fuck.

Fuck Chris Cooley, yo. Don’t shit where you eat.

Sure you can. Just, like, you know, do it. Get over it.

Uhhhh...

Preach. If dood locked down on his man every game (which by nature is a point guard, but really he draws more switches than anything) then he would not be able to be the nearly indefensible playmaker offensively who is around the rim enough to be there when the ball comes off it AT LEAST 10 times a game on average.…

Yeaaah, Sony. FACE!!! We’re not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.

...

According to my research, you were so high when you wrote this. Cool.

He showed up so many blockbusting actors based on his performance, if only for like, one line. The only thing I really remember about the movie True Lies was Bill’s pee-pants scene where he announced the size of his manhood as a mercy plea. He was so good, y’all.

You mean it wasn’t the cow? Or the really cool last tune that Sammy Hagar did with VH for the sound track? You’re damn right it wasn’t. Bill will be missed.

Wait, you think that Weird Science is a shitty movie? You’re stewed, buttwad.

Not to mention Duncan, RobinsonAnd if you aren’t counting rings, Ewing...and so on

And where did you go, Sean? Miss you, buddy.

You knooooooow...this historical “relatedness” thing that the deadspin does at the tail end to another otherwise “ho-hum” post pays divedends and doubles down on occasional brushes with genius. Normy is perhaps, the most important satirist of modern times. And while Howard stern gets a lot of cred, as he should, for…

Good one.

Confucius say “women’s underwears are not the best thing on earth, but close to it” oh, and fuck you.

Your team probably hasn’t won dick, either. wait, you are a ‘Bama fan, right? If not, I bet you will say that you are now. Or what is infinitely worse, you may be a suckeyes fan. I would challenge Feinbaum that there is a worse fan base than the assclowns that support the large, entitled gravity anus that is Columbus…

Friends. This broke ass post is more credible.