Noah was told by the mighty lord that hitting two’s was an imperative, a mandate if you will. Global warming, thanks Obama.

Agreed. There is not a law in the land that should prevent someone from dicking out. It’s really kinda okay to be a total dick when the justification adds up. We all know that parking tix target Dix (and Mix), so this is not a story, nor should anyone be surprised or empathize otherwise. But about that lady he…

If you can’t laugh, you know, like, what can you do. Excellence will always be scrutinized. Kudos.

Sorry Officer Freshtake, I was unaware of the posted signage, and I sure am glad you are protecting us from shitty kinja...uhhh...

Well lift my leg....so how long has it been there figuratively?

This is a Deadspin Video, in which strange sports moments are slowed down to ridiculous speeds and matched with indie music. This video features “Look Around” by Beat Happening. See previous episodes here. A Spotify playlist of every song used in Deadspin Videos can be accessed here.

Not to split hairs...Social commentary should be left to those that are social. I’m really hoping you think that you are part of a “solution”. Neat.

Wait, what?

Why is this a good show again? Is it because the alternative was watching gladiators with constipation? Because a new game of thrones wasn’t airing with similar disgusting images? As humans, I would expect no less, but if this is entertainment, then there is no hope. Be careful on your way to work tomorrow, I guess.

Uhhh, do what?

whoa. Thanks man. I don’t know what I was thinking. Mission accomplished. Neat.

I would rather pound salt up my ass than watch another shitshow like this travesty. Professional football has got the death rattle, and I am very upset with myself for caring enough about watching this brand of shitty football when there are so many other ways to waste my time. I should have hit the sack when the…

My prediction for who will play this human turd in a biopic....Barry Pepper. Absolutely no ill will or bad juju against Barry, I love his work, but Barry Pepper will win a fucking Oscar for his portrayal, so let it be written...

point

Thanks for the words of wisdom, and I sincerely hope DRose and his buddies get to read this, sounds like they could have used that advice before all of this madness occurred, eesh. So, this uhhh, this friend you “had”, as you put it...is uhh, she still going...through....that... breakup, and what’s her drank of…

Yeah well, I saw this dood on the interwebs that could smack two dongs with one pitch. His OWN, brocephus!! Awwwwlroit!

Oh, I am aware Mr. Big...bootay, I am aware. Post-apocalyptic Gawker fall out will make it even more difficult for me to efficiently find good kinja in my favorite blerrrgs during my morning “board meetings”, My time, it is precious. But by all means, share on. As was mentioned...

Oh iO9, how far you have fallen. Unless those are sci-fi noodles made in the ancient tradition on Blogsux-10. Probably would not change my fickleness though. Share on.

I’m sorry, but I have to say it...please waste your time writing ANYTHING on why a team is successful. A team that sucks is SO EASY to break down. Armchair quarterbacks do it with seemingly effortless efficiency, and they don’t even need statistics to prove their point other than a final score. just read an AP or…