Well at least Miami can expect a nice gift basket.

Heisenberg gets pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

Serious question: Has anyone who has ever used the word “cotton-pickin’” (or “pea pickin’”, depending on region) as a de facto “clean” substitute for “mother fuckin’” or “goddamn” given thought to the potential ‘racist connotations?’ Personally, I have to admit, I’d never even considered that until people got mad…

Is that Carrie Underboob?

For some reason I find the “Rapture happened but nobody was worthy” thing to be quite hilarious. I’d love to the shocked and confused faces of all the fundie nutjobs as we’re all waiting in line to enter hell.

Now that’s being proactive!

Nah, that was just aliens. Everybody knows that when you get raptured you float up into the sky.

I still miss my cousin lenny.....we was just walking along and BAM there was this flash of light....I must been thrown back clear thirty
feet my clothes smoking.....lenny....LENNY was just GONE!

When I taught high school math, I brought in a full-size crowbar for a demonstration and conveniently forgot to take it home for the rest of the school year.

definitely chrome, i cant tell if she has mono though...

Actually this move makes total sense. Experts say an attack at this particular school is likely to involve small arms.

“They did leave it standing so you can remodel it versus tearing it down,” Realtor Holly Barr told KTVU. “You save a lot of money when you can leave a wall up and do a remodel versus a complete teardown.”

We now know Google tracks User’s DNA . If you’ve used the Airplane’s restrooms , your DNA is no conveniently placed in a block of detritus with a built-in GPS device at its centre . This block is then ejected into a Miami Airport’s airspace . Voila , part of you is now in Miami ! This message was brought to you by the…

Alright, doing this only because nobody else has. One of his tires must have been 1.5 lbs too low?

Naw. They think that the factory warranty will take care of everything.

Strowman vows Nicholas and he will return as a tag team when he’s finished with school, so there’s already a match on the docket for 2029 or so.

The important thing is that he didn’t act like Anthony Rendon and show up the umpire.

Every time I see a player do this I picture myself doubled over in pain with a new bruise on my leg and a pristine bat

You’d think a Packer would know what’s in his luggage.

“Will Ohtani become the planet’s new God King?”