We do need a rational, experienced mind at the helm, David. Maybe this will wake up our celebrity worship culture and make us long for and appreciate competence in government.

Central is god’s time.

I really wish ESPN still did those corny “fantasy” games, you know, like the 80s 49ers against the 70s Steelers. Only I’d love to see the ‘08 Lions against the ‘17 Browns. I have to imagine it would end in a meteor hitting the stadium late in the fourth quarter with it tied 2-2.

Well I understand why many people prefer Call of Duty over CSGO. I can’t blame them for being more casual.

I bet Rod Watson reads Splinter on purpose. He doesn’t even need to be tricked with some clickbait headline.

no, he’s not

Yup, the ”stranger danger” pairing.

There are “nippers” to watch material being moved around and “hog house tenders” to supervise the break room. Each crane must have an “oiler,” a relic of a time when they needed frequent lubrication. Standby electricians and plumbers are to be on hand at all times, as is at least one “master mechanic.” Generators…

It wouldn’t be Gawker Media without hyperbole, that’s their mark of quality.

“Hey Giants, the best way to get rid of Apple cancer is chemotherapy. Trust me on this…”

you mean like the Gawker writer who accused Greg Howard of sexually assaulting her and was told to go kick rocks by Gawker HR? I’m still blown away (and sadly, kind of not) that this site hasn’t said a single thing about that since it was put out there a couple months ago by her. I’m now on burner account #4 because I…

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

We can only hope that Tony Romo will be calling the game, predicting when the player’s breathing stops, when brain death occurs, and what the flower arrangements will look like at the wake, all while the player is still lined up before the snap.

Even worse the Seattle fans clutching pearls when their own fanbase threw food at NaVorro Brown in 2015 while he was being carted off for an MRI on an ACL injury.

At a neutral site, the 2017 Browns would win 62% of the time.

A singularity would ensue from the mass suckiness condensed into one place, the planet would be spaghettified into oblivion.

5-5 tie

Of course, the TV version would play out something like this:

Have you ever sucked on a straw to drink a beverage? Did you instantly inhale your coke? How did you survive long enough to learn how to use the internet and post on here?