Eating with other people: Table set, proper cutlery, nice full meal, I like to cook. By myself? Paper towel or bowl, or even just standing at the counter and eating from the pan.

I am a 40 plus X-er drinking wine RIGHT NOW. So, there, whippersnappers.

Imma let you finish... but this is the cutest dog of all time!

This story coincidentally is one of the memories I am going to get EMDR for soon, so I can Men-in-Black that shit from my brain.

My mom’s older brother was an alcoholic, agoraphobic biker, and we usually only saw him on Thanksgiving for that reason. When I was nine, he turned up to dinner with his girlfriend Star, a fellow biker, and my dad (who didn’t really “get” him, but wanted to make him feel included) asked him to say the blessing. And, I…

My drunk uncle slipped on his own piss and fell out of a second story window. He also groped my brother’s wife.