I NEED to adopt Pinky. NOW. All the stars for this awesome, ball shredding cat.

+1000 for the last sentence in your post. Love the shakespearean style troll slap!

Best movie reference ever. Put the lotion on, Mark.

I feel you there. Mayer is a douchebag but there is this song he does called "Belief" that is just good. My theory: talent is like capitalism, even icky people can have it (be winners etc). We are, each of us, multitudes in one.

RIP, Vampire Dad, from one of my favorite cheesy horror movies. You will be missed.

The ridge is there for her (or his) pleasure.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Here you go. Don't forget to wipe him down before you return him.

For delicious See's candy? HELL YEAH HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN. Who could resist?

YES! You are correct!

Congrats on winning the internet today!

Nope.

Hmmph. And all these years I've carried the love that dare not speak it's name around in my heart. Forever, Speed Racer, I'll be there for you.

I've always loved him for his honesty. Way back when, on his first tv show he always talked honestly to my people (the fats). Barring some awful disease or something, it's all about eating less, exercising more, and STICKING TO IT. None of that fake homeopathy almost science BS. You can do it, he said and I will help.…

When he did the correspondents dinner I wanted to bear his brainy funny gigantic balled sons. If I'd been there, he could have taken me on the table right there in front of everyone, I wouldn't have cared at all.

Be careful. If I didn't take my medicine daily I would be unable to do more than lie in bed and beg the cat to bring me the remote.

I wonder if hanging out with Oprah makes people stupid?

I have hypothyroidism. Of all the things I've been known to do, swallowing my words is NOT one of them. Half the time my folks are telling me to STFU (cause when I get going, I can really go). That stuff he said is total non science bullshit.

Maybe their impregnating them first?