Commentator, in crisp English accent: Folks at home may be asking themselves, “How will he finish?” And, well, Depends.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

“You can’t rape your own wife car.”

Gawker is getting shut down next week. Maybe Jezebel will go away with it?

What about Heel-Toe Disease?

He probably found it too exhausting.

El Werto's perverted brother? You're doing it wrong man. You're supposed to dragon the tailpipe.

I could never do something like this, I’m too paranoid about STIs.

I’m suprised he wasn’t charged for VANdalism

Lawyers are bummed they won’t get their massive class action settlement so they are looking for someone else to profit from.

i bought the game and a console but i can’t play bc i can’t find a man to figure out the wires for me so i can play it

This is easy, a rally car is because racecar, a drift car is because herpderp.

One is awesome, and one is for drifting.

How did they determine that the guy who commutes in a $2000 1995 Honda Accord can do the same in a contemporary new electric car?

I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.

To those saddened by the lack of colourful British swear words in the video, I offer this:

I don’t know. Forcing an opponent to run through an injury is probably just a tactic to make sure they can’t possibly handle their next event.

We had a cheer back then. “Up the middle, up the middle, up the middle, punt!”

Just before the Espys this year, I invited all my friends to tune in and watch all the inevitable Lions appearances, as The Other Team in every highlight reel.