“You should finish it if you aren’t injured” probably isn’t nuanced enough.

“not knowing all the details it’s hard to pass judgement, but I’m gonna do it anyway.”

Fuck off. The NFL has no guaranteed contracts and as a result players get fucked weekly. If he wants to walk,  good for him. 

And your point would be?

After flooding like this the store owners are required to toss all inventory. Which is why they told police to stand down as the people were basically taking garbage out of the store.

I refuse to believe it. Burt Reynolds cannot die. He just... drove away.

Wait....what??

I swear, with the coming of electrification, I want to see more and more of these retro cars out there.

This video didn’t do a whole lot for me, but I’ve been amused by the little critiques Blizzard has been covertly inserting into their videos.

“I wonder if there’s beer on the sun...”

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

Here’s Musk announcing the plan to the press:

Ah, there’s the “at least he’s trying something” Muskboy argument I’ve been waiting for. 

Eh, I disagree. He had already given the front-row kid a ball, and so he gave this ball to another kid who (presumably) hadn’t gotten one. That seems to me like the good and just thing to do.

Readers deserve an explanation. This is the cereal discussion we had before Marchman went rogue.

Frankly I think it's unethical to post this on Deadspin without some kind of warning or label that it's satire.

Breakfast foods, ranked:

*LIST ONLY VALID IF YOU EAT CEREAL FOR INCONTINENCE

TIM MARCHMAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE DEADSPIN STAFF.