Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

You tell that son of a bitch Arn Anderson he had better be a fucking pallbearer at Mr. Heenan’s funeral so he cal let him down one last time.

He deserves to be paid more.

One guy was heard to say.........”I’m covered from my head tomatoes.”

Before I scrolled down I thought maybe we were going to find out if Sage Northcutt had, in fact, been hacked.

True, it’s easier to get caught with a physical device than some stray numbers on the call record. And he’s probably one of those dipshits who get their wives to pack their road gear.

I’m guessing that after years of doing it on his work phone he thought he was safe. Don’t you think the risk of having a second phone in the house that his wife might stumble upon was also a risk?

That’s the best advertisement Rubbermaid could ever have. “TOUGH ENOUGH FOR A MOTHERFUCKING POLAR BEAR.”

I fear this may not get the love it deserves on a Friday afternoon, so here’s a bunch more stars

Judging from that hairline he has good knowledge of fucked up clippers.

I’m not hurt, or jealous, or bothered, but let me blast out some desperately bitter tweets to whomever. Really, I’m fine.

Blake Bortles promptly reeled off five service errors.

In an effort to broaden their base appeal, they’re launching their new line of sports bras with the slogan:

Protect This Blouse

Should be fine. Honestly, traveling is when I find the most free time to, uh, ‘feed the rhino.’

Well there is a murderer sitting at the table.

“ We sitting here as men. AS MEN.”

“You can’t do ifs in our business.”

Dana always looks like a guy who shows up for the threesome but ends up jerking off in the corner as the two girls go at it.

Do you want to hear about the time I raced Tailwind Turner when I was on the Hillman track team?

There is no better way to guarantee I will read a story.